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I'll feel like I don't belong

jyanshi: 
categoryStory: 

[player]I can't say for sure whether I would like it, but I think I'll have difficulty adjusting to such an unstable life, always feeling like I don't belong. [Sara]Haha, most people would have difficulty adapting to it. It was the same for my father. [Sara]He thought that we shouldn't be like dandelions that float on the wind because our family has already taken root somewhere, so he disapproved of me going on tour with Soul at the beginning because he was afraid I would end up becoming a nomad like my ancestors and never return home. [player]How did you convince him? [Sara]I never intended to convince him. I was going to just say "I'm off now" and start working at Soul. But Sid, the previous leader, took time to accompany me to see my father after he found out and gave his personal guarantee that I would return safely. Only then did my father agree to this. [Sara]But he hasn't completely stopped worrying about me. Even now, he still requests me to contact him regularly. He's afraid of being lonely, don't you think? Hehe... [player]Hahahaha... His daughter joined a tour performance without a clear timeframe for returning home behind his back, and his only request after agreeing is for her to contact him periodically. I think Sara's father is very open-minded already. [Sara]Although it's a little annoying to regularly contact him... it feels good to know someone is missing you. [player]...Yes, that's nice. [player]Speaking of which, Sara... Do the people here not welcome me or something? I don't think I'm overly self-aware. It's just that people have been sizing me up ever since I arrived here. Although they don't look hostile, I can certainly feel that they have their guard up. [Sara]You don't need to worry about them. They are trying to understand you, just like how you're trying to understand them. [Sara]People sometimes have misunderstandings before they manage to understand each other. They need some time to find the distance they should keep from the locals. [player]I see... In their eyes, I see the same hesitation that Lilia showed when we were shopping. Maybe I can close some of the distance with them if I greet them warmly, but... I give up after thinking about it. I'm their guest, so they should decide how we should get along since they are the "hosts" here. After walking for a while, a carefree woman finally comes over to start a conversation. [Woman]Sara, why don't you introduce us to your friend? [Sara]Haha, I was just about to introduce you. This is PLAYER. [player]Hello. [Woman]Hi, PLAYER... Sara, this is your first time bringing a stranger here. Are you two friends? [Sara]PLAYER is my friend and someone important to me. [player]Eh? [Woman]Oh, so PLAYER is someone you like. [Sara]Yes. [Woman]What about you, PLAYER? Do you like Sara? [player]I... of course I... There's no question whether I like her or not, but why are we talking about this topic? Shouldn't you avoid the person you're talking about if you want to gossip?! [Sara]Of course. PLAYER has never missed any of my performances and is my most loyal fan. Aha, so that's what she means by important. Sara is able to remember that I'm there among the faceless audience every time. I'm very happy about this as a fan... But I feel a subtle sense of embarrassment when she says it so proudly. [Sara]It's the first time I've met a customer who cares so much about me, is so considerate of me, and offers to help me. At some point, I started to feel lonely when I couldn't see that person... Such a person can only be an "important person," right? [Woman]Yep, I'm gradually understanding everything. No, your strange smile is telling me you've misunderstood something! The woman covers her mouth and runs away sniggering before I can say anything else. I hope she doesn't spread anything strange around... [player]Sighs Didn't you say that a proactive person like me is a weird customer? [Sara]You are a weird customer, but you're also someone important to me, hehe... [player]...Haha, I'm honored to be someone who is weird and important to you, Sara. [Sara]And it's my honor that you like me. The sun is about to set. Sara opens the door curtain of a carriage and beckons for me to climb up with her. Sitting in the carriage is an old lady who is making some handicrafts. Sara sits down beside her and picks up an unfinished knitwear. [Sara]Granny, I've come to help out. Old Woman [Old Woman]You've come. [Sara]Can you tell me the story you didn't finish last time? [Old Woman]Of course. The old woman hasn't commented on my arrival. I don't know what to do at this time, so I also sit down and listen to the story. The woman is telling a story about her past. Stories of things that happened on her journey called "life." A family... A person... A tribe... And then a family in a tribe... She speaks slowly at first and sometimes stops when she forgets what she's going to say, which makes me wonder if she has suddenly fallen asleep while talking. [Sara]Granny, you just said you met a handsome young man. [Old Woman]Haha, that young man has become an old man now, hahahah... Sara reminds her where to continue her story whenever she stops, but the starting point of each journey is the moment she meets her lover. I wonder when the story will end, but when I see how her eyes light up when she speaks, I find myself thinking that whether she finishes her story isn't so important. player ...I'm getting a little sleepy. The sun is getting lower and lower, and so are my eyelids. Until everything becomes dark... It's already night when I awaken. The area around is more lively than when we first came. It's most likely that the people who were out earlier have all returned. The smell of smoke and fire permeating the air has also become more intense. Looking at the campfires burning around me and smelling the aroma in the air, I realize that it's dinner time. [Sara]Oh, you've woken up. Did you sleep well? [player]I slept really well. I hope the old granny won't get angry at me for falling asleep halfway through her story. [Sara]She won't because she also fell asleep. Let's have dinner. We approach one of the campfires where Lilia and the others are having dinner. [Lilia]PLAYER, have some more. [player]Thank you, I'm sorry I'm scrounging a free meal off you. [Lilia]It's alright since you're someone important to Big Sis Sara. ...That woman really did spread her nonsense everywhere. During dinner, people would bring food over to share or come and have a toast from time to time. Looking at this happy and harmonious atmosphere, like Sara said, the people here really do live like a big family. Even though I'm a visitor who came here suddenly, these "outsiders" don't mind me joining in their feast and are even very enthusiastic, which is a little overwhelming to me. [player]I feel very warm here, and the food is delicious. I never expected to have such a night out when I woke up in the morning. [Sara]I didn't think I would have the opportunity to bring you here either. It's great that you feel happy. [player]Shall we go to that granny again after dinner to listen to the rest of the story? [Sara]She's sleeping soundly, so we probably shouldn't disturb her. I've almost collected enough materials too. If you really want to talk, you can talk to her about One Han City. [player]Collecting materials? [Sara]One of my teachers once said that an outstanding dancer needs to hone their technique and know how to express the many facets of life in their dance. [Sara]But it's difficult to get better with my limited life experience, so I often pester the elders here to tell me their stories, and I use that as inspiration to create new dances. [player]In other words, these elders' lives live on in your dance? [Sara]That's an appropriate statement. We "outsiders" drift about everywhere, but we live uniquely romantic and exciting lives. I want to convey the beauty of their lives to the world, so I take it upon myself to do so. [Sara]I also want to find out where our homeland is from our elders. [player]Homeland? Didn't you say that your people have already forgotten where they came from? [Sara]My mother once said that our homeland is a beautiful place with stunning mountains and rivers. Desert roses bloom everywhere like flames there. I really want to see what it looks like there for myself. [Sara]One reason I joined Soul is so I can perform, but another reason is so I can try my luck while I'm on tour and see if I can find out anything about my homeland. I want to ask her whether she has found it yet, but the bitter smile on Sara's face tells me the answer. [Sara]It's a shame I still haven't found it. Perhaps... I'll never find it, haha. Like my mother said, we've left our homeland for too long already... [player]...Why don't we ask that old granny tomorrow? Maybe we can even ask other people who aren't elders. [Sara]I'm afraid we won't get the chance. They will be embarking on a new journey very early tomorrow morning. This is their last carnival here tonight, so they are probably gonna keep the party going until it's very late. Are you tired? Should I take you to the station first? [player]I see... These passionate people are leaving tomorrow. I finally managed to build a good relationship with them, but now I don't even know when we'll see each other again. Oh, did Lilia look so crestfallen because she knew she wouldn't get to see Sara's new dress...? [player]Sara, can I stay? They've been so kind to me that I want to say goodbye to them tomorrow morning. [Sara]Hehe, of course you can. After dinner, the "outsiders" begin to gather around the bonfire, as they sing and dance along to the tunes coming from their musical instruments. Sara helps me arrange a place to stay for the night while I sit there enjoying the hustle and bustle. As I enjoy the exotic song and dance in front of me, I keep thinking about the desert rose. [player]Desert rose... I grab my mobile phone and search for anything I can find about desert roses. The desert rose is also known as adenium, and it is not a native plant of One Han City based on its distribution. [player]I'm afraid I won't be able to show Sara a field full of desert roses here. [Little Miaow]Meow. [player]Hmm? I look around me and see the figure of Little Miaow thanks to the light of the fires. She is walking around leisurely like always. I wonder where she is going...